Who wears a wallet chain?!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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