Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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