is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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