it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize