I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
