Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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