i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
