Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
