Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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