I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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