I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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