anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she told me i tasted like america
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
