So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
