I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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