Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize