she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if i can run in heels then i can drive
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My life is pants optional.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
