apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
