I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize