if i can run in heels then i can drive
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
