I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
