No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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