My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need water and some morals
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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