The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
