your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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