Can Purell be used as lube?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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