Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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