I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
