Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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