I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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