Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles