Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.