Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
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hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.