I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.