You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.