Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?