at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?