ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
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This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?