So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.