i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.