I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.