She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.