i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.