I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.