Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?