Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.