The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I heard we made out
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.