all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight