please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
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We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.