Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.

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  (918): I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can. http://tfl.nu/4vuk
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?

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  (918): did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat? http://tfl.nu/7nmi
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (1898) Bad night (569)
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  I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.

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  (918): I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing. http://tfl.nu/z0n7
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  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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  (918): When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb http://tfl.nu/ycga
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (2082) Order T-Shirt
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  See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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  (918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts
  Replies (5) Good night (2928) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1062) Bad night (2819) Order T-Shirt
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  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4320) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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  (918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz
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  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
  Replies (16) Good night (1106) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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  (918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (2641) Order T-Shirt
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  3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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  (918): 3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song http://tfl.nu/o6l8
  Replies (6) Good night (2449) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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  (918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox
  Replies (6) Good night (1134) Bad night (2669)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (2926) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (945) Bad night (2290) Order T-Shirt