And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.