I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.