He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.