Every concussion has its silver lining
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.