No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Every concussion has its silver lining