Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (909)

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  (909): View more from California

  Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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  (909): Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass http://tfl.nu/8d1b
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  We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.

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  (909): We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter. http://tfl.nu/smvu
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  why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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  (909): why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"? http://tfl.nu/si77
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  how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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  (909): how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close? http://tfl.nu/7d45
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  (909): View more from California

  You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

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  (909): You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie http://tfl.nu/b4xy
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  (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

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  (909): WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN http://tfl.nu/7vj7
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  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
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  It must have been true love

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other

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  (909): It must have been true love (604): I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other http://tfl.nu/pjnl
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  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
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  (909): View more from California

  It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

  (909): View more from California

  Something's gotta give!

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  (909): It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity (909): Something's gotta give! http://tfl.nu/w8ji
  Replies (23) Good night (378) Bad night (1339)
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  (909): View more from California

  yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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  (909): yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face http://tfl.nu/l391
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  (909): View more from California

  dude i'm inner monologue high

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  (909): dude i'm inner monologue high http://tfl.nu/4ebt
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  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
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  good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

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  (909): good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant http://tfl.nu/4y6m
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  (909): View more from California

  College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.

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  (909): College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe. http://tfl.nu/4iki
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