I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.