Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"