Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?