Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
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that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.