Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though