I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance