maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.