We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.