I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.