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im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
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